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Gang Violence

          Since the dawn of civilization, there has been the need for man to work together in order to survive. Our neophyte ancestors quickly realized that living in a permanent dwelling and taking up agriculture was much easier then nomadic hunting. After families became too large, the single dwelling evolved into villages where multiple families worked together in a symbiotic relationship. In our modern era the village has given way to the city: a vast and complex community made up of men and women from different walks of life.

          To keep the populous in order, laws were established by governments and enforced by police. With government in balance and the citizens compliant, anarchy does not ensue. Unfortunately, there are criminals who break the law for personal gain. Among those are gangsters, playing roulette in back alleys, in organized crime rings.

          For the greater part of American history, gangsters have extended their territories by having turf battles wherein multiple gangsters use firearms and other weapons to eliminate their rivals. The gangsters of today have tried many different ways of gaining turf with slightly less carnage. Among those attempted are street races, Judo, arm wrestling competitions, and occasionally Rock Paper Scissors. To the dismay of the WFJF, the newest trend in turf warfare is finger jousting.

          The way gangsters have incorporated finger jousting into their way of life is surprisingly clever but unequivocally evil and immoral. One member from each of the two rival gangs is selected to finger joust; both jousters should be of similar weight and stature. Then an arena is constructed in an area of the turf. After the jousters are ready, they enter the arena with the members of their gangs surrounding the criminal coliseum. The matches are done in the point play style wherein six points is the amount to win. Then the rival gang must leave the area and can not challenge again for usually a few months. To keep the game objective and “fair”, referees are illegally paid to officiate.

          The World Finger Jousting Federation is leading this fight against gang violence and the abuse of finger jousting. With an undercover taskforce patrolling the streets of metropolitan areas, we believe that finger jousting will vanish from the crime infested streets of ganglands. Already the amount of finger jousting related crimes as dropped substantially. It would seem that everything is changing for the better now that gangsters have found a different game to unleash their pursuit of land; that game is now Odds or Evens.

          To our dismay, there are still a few gangs left using finger jousting for evil. If you see any gang violence in your area, relating to finger jousting, please notify the authorities. With help from members all over the world, we can make a difference.

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